Its been a while since the last time I wrote in this blog..
how I miss writing…
but,
the world use this to destroy me..
so I have to resign for a while…
I wrote today is because
The memory of the past disturb me again..
I am the man of memory..
memory is my strongest power yet my worst weakness…

Of course..
not every memory is worth remembering..
but…
the memory of you is the one I cannot take out from my head…
Even the slightest thing can trigger a whole lot of memory inside my head about you…
I know that even this memory of you is pouring out inside of me,
the memory of me is never even leaked in yours….
Because after all I have been trough,
I am truly nothing to you..
not even..
friend…

Once there is love included in a friendship,
there will be no more just a friend..
because feeling is real…
even if we pretend to be like nothing has ever happened,
our feeling is the one that keep us apart..
or maybe..
in this case..
my feeling…

You know,
life is so unfair to me…
to be close with you
act like there is nothing between us…
laugh together..
share together…
and many more…
is just merely a pieces of memory that now come back to the surface…
everything has gone now…
and,
even you,
cannot bring it back…
only the pieces of memory remain…
and will always remain in this heart…

do you know how hurt it is not to be able to even talk with you?
do you know how hurt it is just to watch over you from the distance while the other can flirt on you?
do you know how much its hurt just cannot be with you anymore?

You will never know how much I miss you…
I miss everything of you…
every single detail of you…
when is our last time chatting?
when is our last time talking to each other?
when is our last time laugh together?
I..
just…
cannot remember….
it seems..
it already take a very long time…
I miss you….